How To Sort of Prepare Yourself for Senior Year

I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that White Haje and I are now friends. The bad news is that my last year of high school shall commence in six days AND I AM SO NOT READY FOR THIS.

But back to White Haje. It was quite cool how we met, actually. He showed up to the last couple meetings of Japanese Language Club, and it turns he's a pretty chill guy. First of all, we both share a common passion for the Japanese language. And let me tell you, it is SO HARD to find someone else who is studying Japanese. People are always studying French or Spanish or Chinese... But not Japanese. So the fact that this guy is STUDYING JAPANESE makes him super awesome. Also, he watches anime, is cultured, and actually talks to girls (unlike a good percentage of the guys in my old school). So I figured it was safe to tell this guy about his resemblance to Korean Haje and how I've wanted to talk to him ever since I first met him blah blah blah.

Korean Haje

So I did. And he was pretty chill about it. In fact, he even said: "Wow...us meeting like this...this is kind of like fate, the universe, you know?"

YES, HE SAID THE THING ABOUT FATE! Although he did mention afterwards that I had to call him by his real name from now on, but meh. We kind of just stared talking on facebook after that and we bused back together a couple times on the last few days of school, talking about Japanese mostly. He reminds me of myself, when I first started studying the language. Overwhelmed by the sense of euphoria and determined to become fluent, even if it means giving up one's social life. Lately though, I've found that my passion for the Japanese language has been dwindling... Don't get me wrong, it is still the most beautiful language I have ever heard, but now studying it has almost become like a chore... Sigh. I've tried taking a break from Japanese by occupying myself with French and Latin, but it's been several months now and I don't really know what to do anymore.

And now, back to school--

Update: Sorry if this next section is entirely in CAPS. I didn't write it that way--only some things were supposed to be in caps. Like, I'm in the EDIT section of this post right now and the post looks normal, but when I go to preview, the entire thing gets messed up ;_; 

It's so weird. Normally, around this time of year--the end of August--I am just dying to go back to school. To open a new pack of pencils, to see my friends again, to just be at school. But I don't know if it's old age or what, but this summer has gone by way too fast. Like, I need a whole other month. I'm super jealous of Phineas in Ferb--they get 104 days of summer vacation. I get like 60 something. That is a frigging ridiculous number. I remember around May, a friend from the States texted me, mentioning that his exams were almost done. EXCUSE ME. BUT IT IS MAY. WHY DO YOU NOT HAVE ANOTHER MONTH OF SCHOOL LEFT. 

All summer long, I've been dreading going back to school. Last year was just such a bad year for me, in terms of grades. I'm actually worried that I won't even be able to make it into university. In grade ten, I was a silver medal student. My average was in the frigging 90s. My mark in Math was an 86 or something. Last year, guess what my mark in Math was. Come on, just guess.

A 60-bloody-7. 67. THAT SUCKS. Okay, that actually sucks. And I worked SO HARD for that too. So all summer, I've been thinking about that number, thinking and thinking. Wondering if it's even POSSIBLE to do better than I did last year or if I'm doomed to be stupid forever. I've just been so stressed out. When I was in middle school, I would be SO SAD if I got a mark in the low 80s. For me, that was a fail. And people would always say Gee, how do you think I feel with my low-ball mark? BUT THIS IS A 67! I told some random person a couple weeks ago about my grade, and they told me: "wow, I would be LUCKY to get that grade."

Which means that it could get worse. THIS HORRIBLE NUMBER COULD GET WORSE! I am convinced that Math was invented by Satan himself at this point. 

And okay, okay. I agree with the people from my past who got pissed off at me for complaining about an 82, because if I got an 82 in Math during my grade 11 year...aaaaah that would be so wonderful! That would be heaven! I would clean the entire house and not complain one bit if I got such a marvelous grade! BUT A 67...OKAY, I THINK I AM DEFINITELY ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT A 67. And while I'm on a rant, let me just point something else out:

I hate it when adults think that they're the ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD who have the right to be stressed out. Like, excuse the fudge me, but do you have a patent on stress or something? I was working out at a gym in Nova Scotia this summer and the coach there asked me how I was enjoying my vacation. To which I responded something like, oh yeah, it's so nice! I've just been able to relieve so much stress!

And do you know what that woman said to me? She LAUGHED and said "what does a 17 year old have to be stressed about?"

EXCUSE ME? EXCUSEZ MOI!? DID YOU JUST FAST FORWARD THROUGH THE PART OF YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU'RE A TEENAGER AND HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT SHIT, OR DID YOU HAVE SUPER PROTECTIVE PARENTS WHO PROTECTED YOU FROM THAT SHIT, OR DO YOU JUST ONLY REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES OR SOMETHING, OR ARE YOU JUST SO OLD YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER BEING A TEENAGER PERIOD?

#ugh #teenage angst #sorry if im offending any adults, im mostly referring to that gym coach and my mom who also seems to think she is the only one who is allowed to be stressed #just because my stress may not seem as epic as yours doesn't mean im still not affected by this btw mom #double ugh #also school you need to go away, no one even likes you

How to Stalk Draco Malfoy, Part 2

I'm sure many of you are familiar with Draco Malfoy.

And no, I don't mean the "Tom Felton" Draco Malfoy.

(source)

I mean the Draco Malfoy from this post here. Actually, don't click on that link. It was the first post back in 2011 and it's terrible.

Brief Recap: Tom Felton/Draco Malfoy is:

• A guy who goes to my school
• A grade above me (so he's in gr 12)
•  He is in the visual arts program (in my post about him from grade nine, I say that he's in the music program. I thought this because I saw him holding a trumpet case one day, but nah, he's in vis).
• Looks like Tom Felton (obvs)
• His name is not actually Tom. It would be funny if it was, though
• AND HE IS SITTING AT MY TABLE IN ONE OF MY COURSES

That's right. He sits at my table now.

I find it really interesting, actually. I started off my high school career being unhealthily intrigued by this guy and writing an entire blog post about him. Now I'm almost done my high school career and my muse is sitting right next to me in my favourite subject.

I know that the title of this post hints at the idea that I've gone back to "stalking" Malfoy (if by stalking, you mean asking other people what grade someone is in and happening to walk by their locker while they're opening it). Well, I haven't. I've found a new victim.

So there's this South Korean actor who plays a character named Haje in a Korean drama called Boys Over Flowers. 

source

And there's this guy in grade ten drama who looks like a white version of Haje. White Haje wears glasses though. But so does actual Haje! (in BOF, at least)

See? See?

And I am itching to tell White Haje that he reminds me of Asian Haje.

Meeting someone who looks like a celebrity is like opening a book. And the only way to close it is by becoming at peace with yourself, and this can only be accomplished by telling said celebrity look-alike that they look like, well, a celebrity.

There have been so many opportunities to talk to White Haje. I walk by him almost every day in the halls, my friends who take the city bus to school sometimes sit next to him, and he came to our school's literary arts coffee house. He saw me READ! And I saw him laughing in the audience! He was also listening to my ghost story and was LAUGHING! (my pieces were supposed to be funny, by the way. Thanks to Flav for helping me write the poem!). I had this great euphoric feeling after that night and my ego had inflated five times over, so I was so tempted to walk right up to this guy and confess my feelings about him. Also, I was on noopept that night, but I doubt that affected anything.

But I didn't say anything. Couldn't. I approached him several time while his back was turned, opened my mouth, then shook my head and skittered away. Not because I was embarrassed. But because I didn't know what to say.

• Hey man, you look like a white version of this South Korean actor, haww
• Hey! You probably don't know me but I'm Kayla and I just wanted to let you know that you look like this South Korean celebrity!
• WHITE HAJE WHITE HAJE WHITE HAJE *HYPERVENTILATES*
• So K-dramas. You heard of 'em?

THERE IS JUST NO WAY TO TELL SOMEONE THEY LOOK LIKE A CELEBRITY WITHOUT COMMUNICATING ALL YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THAT CELEBRITY INTO YOUR SENTENCES AND UUUUAAAAAIIIEEEE

I bet that at the end of the year, when I finally make my confession, he'll just be like: "Oh, okay."

Watch that happen, I swear. 

How to Return from an Extremely Long Hiatus

Hey guys!

So it's been a while.

And by while, I mean nearly two years.

You're probably wondering why I stopped updating this blog. Well, the truth is, I kinda sorta got lazy. And then I forgot about it. There were just too many distractions, like school and anime.

And I didn't remember this blog until about an hour ago. I don't really remember exactly how I remembered How to be Epik. But I did, and when I did, told my sister about it, since my old posts were about my grade nine adventures. Right now, my sister is in grade nine, so I figured she might appreciate some of the posts. She did. My sister's really awesome, so I'm glad I got her stamp of approval.

Rereading my old posts made me miss blogging. It also made me cringe, because my posts seriously sucked. I digressed a lot. And the posts could have been significantly shorter. AND I ACTED SO IMMATURE-LIKE! And worse, I acted like a ninth grader.

Crap, now I'm getting war flashbacks.

I'm in grade eleven now. Grade ten was a shitty year. Nothing worth blogging about. As soon as grade ten started, I couldn't wait for it to be over. Below is a rank of the awesomeness of years (in my humble opinion):

1. Grade eleven
2. Grade nine
3. Grade twelve
4. Grade ten 

Here's why grade eleven takes the throne. Grade nine, you don't really know what you're doing. You're still new, still sniffing out the scene, trying to figure out who you are, get the high school game down, et cetera.
Grade twelve, you're either like: I CAN'T WAIT TO LEAVE THIS HELL HOLE COME ON GRADUATE ME ALREADY OH WAIT I DON'T HAVE MY FORTY VOLUNTEER HOURS IN YET SHIT NOW I CAN'T GRADUATE or you're like I DUN WANNA LEAVE MY FRIEEEEEEENDS D: Grade ten is super boring. It's a filler year. Your grades don't even count for university. Grade eleven is the best year. You understand the high school game, there are stakes (your grades count!), and you're near the top of the food chain. High enough to receive the benefits that come with age. Low enough to not suffer the sadness of knowing your reign is coming to an end.

Because grade eleven is supposed to be the best year, I figured that getting back into the blogging scene might be fun, because I'll actually have things to blog about.

To ensure that grade eleven would be the best year possible, I decided to stop being a hermit this year and really put myself out there. So this is what has gone down so far:

1. I joined the Senior Girls Basketball Team

2. I signed up as a designer for the fashion show

3. Tried to get my license

4. Won NaNoWriMo!

5. Started a Japanese Language Club (oh yeah, I started learning Japanese in the summer before grade ten)

6. Took part in Ottawa University's Perfect Pitch Competition

7 Attended a business conference on business and the sports industry 

8. Attended another business conference in which I got a chance to meet ARLENE DICKINSON as in ARLENE DICKINSON from the DRAGON'S DEN

9. Got a job

10. Began learning Bo

That's all I can remember at the moment. Yup, it's been a busy three months. My mom keeps telling me I'm doing too much. Telling me that I'm going to burn out. But as author Jack London once said, I would rather be ashes than dust. I started writing mini descriptions about each item, but then realised I could do an entire post on each one. So I'll probably do posts on them whenever I run out of ideas XD

I'm sorry that this post is sort of lame. This post isn't supposed to be a ligament post. It's supposed to be a post that basically says HEY WORLD! I'M BACK! AND IF YOU WANNA LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY, YOU'RE SUPER AWESOME AND I RESPECT YOU BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO ME, THEN I UNDERSTAND, MY LIFE CAN BE SORT OF LAME.

So yeah.

I think I'll try to update at least twice a week. I'd try to aim for three, but at the moment, I have so much stuff to get done. I don't know what days I'd post one, but I'll eventually figure that out as time goes on.

...Can you guys tell that my writing style has gotten a bit more mature? XD
Or maybe it hasn't ;_;
Sadness.